{Competition Shoes}

I got my shoes. 

They make things a little more real. And they are motivating to have in the house.

You know, I’m not suffering. 

I know it will get difficult when I start cutting. But, right now it seems manageable. 

I still have days when I want to lock myself in the pantry with a spoon and a jar of salted caramel hazelnut spread!

When I think about doing that I try to think about my goals.

I think about being up on stage in front of a lot of people wearing only a bikini. I think about my progress. I look at old photos of myself. I think about how crappy eating garbage would make me feel physically. I think about having to add garbage to my public food journal. I think about how great I’ve felt mentally and physically since September. I think about today’s workout and what foods my body would respond the best to for muscle growth and repair. I think about the healthy foods I have in my house and remind myself how good those foods actually taste and how satisfying they are. I think about my weekly weigh-in.

This probably sounds silly. Me, sitting here, telling myself all these things in order to prevent a possible binge. 

Maybe it sounds superficial. 

But, these are the things that are working for me, right now, to break bad habits and build new clean eating habits.

Everyone is different.